Skip to content HELP—My Coworker Touched My Hair
and Thought It Was Okay?!
You ever had one of those moments where you’re so caught off guard, you just freeze? Like… Did that really just happen? This is for anyone who’s ever felt uncomfortable at work but wasn’t sure how to shut it down without making it a whole HR case. We’re talking confidence, self-advocacy, and how to check people—firmly but smoothly—when they overstep, whether it’s grabbing your hair (like you’re some kind of exhibit) or just straight-up ignoring personal space. You’ll walk away with real strategies on how to handle it in the moment, reclaim your autonomy, and make it clear: Respect isn’t optional.
Crazy Curls & Career Confessions
Share your wildest work or hair story anonymously!
This blog will help you:
Ready to strengthen your network and head into the new year with intention? Let’s dive in.
Before you can nurture your network, you need to identify the people who’ve been instrumental in your career this year. Take a moment to think about:
Action Tip: Create a short list of the five most impactful relationships you’ve had this year. Write down one specific way each person contributed to your growth.
Gratitude is a simple yet powerful way to maintain and strengthen connections. The key is to make it personal and specific. Instead of generic “thanks for everything” messages, highlight what the person did and why it mattered to you.
How You Can Show Your Gratitude:
Action Tip: Send personalized notes via email or handwritten cards. If possible, invite them for coffee or a virtual chat to express your gratitude directly.
If you’ve fallen out of touch with key connections, year-end networking events are a great way to reconnect. These events offer a casual yet professional setting to check in with peers, mentors, and even new potential connections.
Where to Find Events:
Attending these events not only strengthens your existing network but also helps expand it, introducing you to people who can play a critical role in your professional development in 2025.
Action Tip: Before attending, prepare a short “year-in-review” story about your career progress and goals. This makes it easier to spark meaningful conversations.
While group events are great, nothing beats a personalized conversation. Use this time of year to schedule one-on-ones with your key connections to reflect on the year and discuss future opportunities.
Conversation Starters:
These conversations show genuine interest in their perspective and can strengthen your relationship.
Action Tip: Offer to treat them to coffee, lunch, or even a virtual meeting if in-person isn’t feasible.
The relationships you nurture now can continue to grow in the new year—but only if you’re intentional. A connection plan ensures you’re staying top of mind with your network, even when life gets busy.
Ideas for Your Plan:
Action Tip: Make a list of three new connections you want to establish next year and find relevant networking events or groups to build those relationships.
Your career isn’t just built on skills or accomplishments—it thrives on the relationships you cultivate. As you close out the year, take the time to reflect, express gratitude, and intentionally nurture your connections. Whether it’s reaching out to a mentor, attending a networking event on Meetup.com, or sending a thoughtful note to an advocate, these small actions can have a big impact on your professional journey.
The main benefit of this “press tour” concept is keeping my momentum going. When it comes to networking, your work is never finished. At some point, you become the person people are trying to meet—and that’s what you’re working toward. But something with such abstract benefits can be hard to get out of bed for. But when I’m tempted to bed rot after a day of work instead of putting on my networking outfit and leaving the house, I pump myself up by reopening my vision board and remembering that if I want my life to feel like a movie, I have to go on the press tour.
he key to 2025 isn’t just setting ambitious career goals—it’s building the network to help you achieve them. Let’s make it a year of connection and growth.
For more career chats, check them out here.
Crazy Curls & Career Confessions
Share your wildest work or hair story anonymously. I’ll share advice via the career chats page on how to navigate them.
Picture this: It’s a regular Tuesday morning in the office. I’m making my way back to my desk after grabbing a much-needed cup of coffee when I feel it—fingers in my hair. Not a light brush, not an accidental graze—full-on hands in my curls.
I freeze.
The conversation around me continues, oblivious to the way my body tenses, the way my heart starts racing. My scalp tingles, not from the touch itself, but from the wave of emotions crashing over me.“Oh my gosh, it’s so soft! How do you get it like this?”
Those hands belong to my coworker.
She’s standing behind me, her hands still hovering as if waiting for a response, as if this interaction is completely normal. As if she just asked about the weather.
I’d really prefer if people didn’t touch my hair without asking.
The Decision: Do I Let It Slide or Speak Up?
For a split second, I consider laughing it off. I consider letting it go. Because, truthfully, that’s what we’re often conditioned to do—shrug it off, smile politely, let discomfort simmer beneath the surface while maintaining our “professionalism. But then, something shifts for me.
This isn’t just about hair.
So I decide, in that moment, that I’m not going to let it slide. I turn around slowly, offering a polite but firm smile. “Actually, Sarah, I’d really prefer if people didn’t touch my hair without asking.” She blinks, her hand retracting like she’s just realized she touched a hot stove. “Oh! I didn’t mean anything by it—I was just curious.”I get that,” I say evenly. “But my hair is a part of me. Just like I wouldn’t randomly touch yours, I’d appreciate the same respect.”
A beat of silence. A nervous laugh. “Oh, of course! I didn’t even think about it like that. Sorry about that.” She walks away, and I sit down at my desk, exhaling. Because the truth is, we’re not the ones who need to adjust. The room does.
The Lesson: This Changed Everything
I used to think these moments were small, insignificant. That they weren’t worth making a fuss over. But the truth is, they are. Just like correcting someone when they mispronounce my name, advocating for my personal space is about demanding to be seen in my fullness. It’s about setting a boundary, not just for me but for every other Black professional who have felt like they had to silently endure these microaggressions.
Because here’s the thing—when we stay silent, it sends a message that these things don’t matter. That our discomfort is secondary to someone else’s curiosity. That we are here to be observed, discussed, and even touched as if we are artifacts, not professionals.
But when we speak up? When we reclaim our space, our names, our bodies? That sends an even more powerful message: We belong. We deserve respect. And we will demand it.
How to Handle if it Happens to You
If someone touches your hair at work, here are a few ways to respond, depending on your comfort level. Here are different ways to express your preference:
No matter which approach you choose, the key is setting the boundary in a way that feels authentic to you.Because trust me—your space, your body, your being is not here for anyone’s unsolicited curiosity. And the more we make that clear, the more we shift the culture in the spaces we navigate.
Check out The Corporate Curly for tips on building confidence, achieving career goals, and thriving in your workplace experience.
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